My dependencies have been my ultimate antagonist over the years and I’ve found that the Boss I’ve yet to defeat is my dependency on people. I depend on my friends to be free when I want them to be, to come keep my company while I clean my room because my thoughts get too distracting, to sleep over because I don’t want to sleep alone in this bed and wake up to the terrors that haunt my sleep paralysis, to show me affection because my soul needs it’s fucking fix before I lose my mind. I depend on having someone around, on someone to hold, on a hand running through my hair, arms wrapped around my waste, and lips waiting for me to kiss them. I’ve never been one to spend much time alone, I find myself gravitated toward people who need me, sometimes more than I need them, but the dependency always goes both ways so I find myself with the excuse of sticking around under any circumstances because
I
Am
Needed.
I am wanted, I am being depended on.
Soon enough I find my drained of all of my energy because I’ve given too much and the energy I have taken in return isn’t the kind that I need. I am addicted to love even if it’s what hurts me the most.