I find that there’s a lot of spiritual propaganda that either enforces the message that our lives are completely in our control and anything that goes “wrong” is our fault OR that we are meant to completely release control and leave things up to fate (or “gods plan”). Ultimately, I believe our control in ourselves and our experiences should be in balance – an ebb and flow, leading and following, the Yin and Yang. As I’m sure you know, our control lies in the decisions we make. When we make choices in life, although we cannot control all that we experience, we can absolutely affect the outcome. We may experience things that absolutely rock us, cause us to doubt ourselves, get us to question what we truly want and who we know we are. We need to stay firm in our beliefs, our faith in what we deserve, our trust in ourselves and our discernment. We need to be patient, calm, and steady. If we can avoid falling into entropy – indecisiveness and uncertainty – when the chaos in our life ensues, then we have laid a stable foundation. From that stable foundation, we will be able to continue building the life that we want. If we do not make a choice and stick with it, choices will be made for us, our foundation will not be stable, and the tower will fall.

I feel the call to find equilibrium between taking and giving up control. I’m not religious, but a prayer I was taught as a child comes to mind:
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things that I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”